It’s official. I have gotten a little nutty about the domino pins. And yet, I continue to feel that I am not making art. I work for an hour or two every day on these pins, gathering materials and assembling them into creative compositions. But there is still that annoying little voice telling me that I have not made any art today. With some reality testing I can assure myself that in fact it has been quite a productive day. But what is that voice about?
I am doing everything I am “supposed” to be doing: working in the studio, making Big and Little Art, thinking about my next project. I don’t know why I have to work so hard to convince myself that what I am doing “counts.” I think that the voice of “you are not doing anything/enough” is so deeply ingrained that it is my default position. Some reprogramming is in order because the truth is that I am getting a great deal of work done and making some significant inroads on several projects.
I am going to make a concerted effort to change the internal voice because it is truly self-defeating. I want the first voice to be “good job, you got a lot done today.” Because that is the truth.